How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. –Annie Dillard
all old, nothing new. the lingering wonder if things will ever be different. not yet. not this time. when will it shift? when will things mesh, the stars align, everything just click?
i can’t be someone’s crutch. i can’t be my own crutch. that’s not being true – that’s running away. stand on both feet, do your thing, and feel – know – that it’s right.
i can’t be everything to everyone. i can’t be a means to an end. we all need to figure it out. and we will – eventually. and if we do it together, great, but we have to stand on our own first.
is it staying true or just copping out? who knows. only you. only me. that’s the key, isn’t it? knowing. feeling. and then it’s right.
so here we are. again. are we doing this again? or more, am i doing this again? and for what? recognition, notoriety, fame, or something supposedly deeper like self satisfaction?
what is one to do when the roads seem ever evolving, more twists and turns added with each step, more possible paths to take? when the sweet, straight-lined road – singular – is no longer so clearly marked? now there are forks, this-way-or-that-way signs. detours and blocks. what is one supposed to do with all those options? choose one? ah, but of course. just choose one – any one will do, you’ll find the way. go with a full heart and open mind and just choose one. simple. as. that.
but is it? will you find the way? will i?
i guess all we can do is keep walking and see…
“While confidence is important, there’s also a balance of keeping your insecurities in tact. They stop you from becoming an asshole. You need to be emotionally connected enough to care about your work, but not enough to take things personally. For me, the insecurities never go away. Becoming more established doesn’t decrease them, they just move around to different baskets.”
–Lotta Nieminen for OKREAL
Resonate so hard.
hope yet fear. joy yet pain. happiness yet grief. fulfilled yet heartbroken. satisfied yet empty. happiness yet anguish.
the ultimate playground of irony.
ever had something that made you feel that way? something that gives you a true sense of satisfaction yet instills a very real sense of emptiness? an emptiness that shakes you to your core. something that’s so real – right in front of you – yet you can never have. not really.
having it is fleeting – and ultimately, earth shattering. your earth anyway. a true similitude but at its core perhaps the ultimate disparity.
you want it, yet you know it will never be.
wanting yet knowing.