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roads.

10 Oct

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so here we are. again. are we doing this again? or more, am i doing this again? and for what? recognition, notoriety, fame, or something supposedly deeper like self satisfaction?

what is one to do when the roads seem ever evolving, more twists and turns added with each step, more possible paths to take? when the sweet, straight-lined road – singular – is no longer so clearly marked? now there are forks, this-way-or-that-way signs. detours and blocks. what is one supposed to do with all those options? choose one? ah, but of course. just choose one – any one will do, you’ll find the way. go with a full heart and open mind and just choose one. simple. as. that.

but is it? will you find the way? will i?

i guess all we can do is keep walking and see…

photo from her paperweight via wit & delight

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from where i sit.

6 Feb

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so, it’s been a while since i’ve done one of these posts. i was considering doing away with them completely, yet here we are, giving it another go.

but this time, it’s a little different. i’ve long been a “part” of the ever expanding blogosphere. mostly quietly listening from the sidelines, soaking up all the insights, inspirations and ideas from industry boundary pushers. and i’ve long thought what direction i wanted to take my blog – should i write about fashion? should i post lots of pictures? should i be funny, solemn, quirky or cutesy? should i be doing this at all?

and many of these introspective questions remain unanswered.

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which leads me to a deeper reflection – a deeper look at my life in general and the many unanswered questions i have there, too.

maybe it’s the stage of life – 26 as of a couple weeks ago – or the unwavering pace  of things today – can we just take a sec to enjoy our coffee, or breathe a little? just one second? or maybe it’s the simple realization that i’m “growing up” and the pressures of “needing” to be moving toward a settled life are closing in at a more rapid pace than ever experienced before (ed note: and by “settled,” i most certainly don’t mean married, with kids and a white picket fence outside my gingham framed windows. i mean “settled” in the sense of having a sure direction and at least getting close to moving into what my life will look like for the distant future.).

maybe it’s all of these things. all of these things inflicting an incredible and often debilitating sense of lost i’ve never felt before.

coming out of college, i had it all figured out. i knew exactly how things were going to go. i got a degree in pr, so naturally, i would work in pr. in new york. in fashion.

naturally.

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and then it didn’t work out. pr, new york, nor fashion. none were a fit.

fuck. what the hell do i do now?

this was my plan. working and living in new york, doing the fashion pr thing, leading this incredibly challenging yet fulfilling life surrounded by equally over-the-top ambitious people. this was it. this was the dream.

but what if that wasn’t the dream? what if that wasn’t what i was supposed to do? do i have to come up with a new dream? do i keep parts of that dream and fill in the holes with other “dreams”?

where do i go from here?

and now here i am, two years later, asking the same questions. yet again.

and it isn’t any easier the second time around. i always knew coming back to austin wasn’t the solution. this was a temporary fix. some people are more than happy – thrilled, even – to make an impact on the area they grew up in. and that’s great. for them. but not for me. i need something more. something big. something different.

but what does that mean, look like, feel like?

i had an inkling the draw of new york would never leave me. and as the weeks that turned into months that turned into years drifted unimpressively by, the hold that great city has on me only grew. i never could quite shake it.

and now that i know new york is the place for me, i’m having more doubts than ever. what if i’m not good enough? what if i can’t make the switch from pr to branding? what if i’m not cut out for the work life it takes to make it in new york?

what happened to that fearless girl who was so sure of her direction? so sure of what the future held? so sure of what her life would look like? so sure of herself.

i’m scared that’s she’s not around anymore. i’m scared that she was chewed up and spit out and shaken so deeply to her core that she’s now so unsure of herself that she’s turned into a timid, passive girl – a girl she never, in her wildest dreams, thought she’d be. i’m scared that she’s not alive anymore. and maybe never will be again.

but surely that’s not the case? surely, that girl, who used to be so full of drive and held so dearly that need to “make it” in the one city that always felt like home that she would never be afraid to send that email, pick up that phone and make her dreams happen, isn’t gone. surely, she’s still here, buried deep inside, waiting to burst out, guns blazing, and holding that undying dream high above, for all to see.

surely.

so here’s to her. that girl. that girl that i once knew. that girl that i hope to know again.

here’s to keeping those dreams alive.

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all photos my own.

from where i sit: content vs. commerce generation

27 Nov

while scouring the web this morning, i came across an article on the integration of content generation and ecommerce. it’s an interesting idea – one that i’m intrigued by but don’t have a solid opinion on yet.

from my business pov, i applaud the out-of-box sales innovation – it seems genius, and intuitive to create easy access pathways for consumers to buy products while they’re comfortably sifting through their favorite blogs, ezines, web sites, etc.

on the flip side – as a consumer – i’m not sure how i feel. my blog-hopping each saturday morning is reserved for leisurely browsing and unviolated inspiration. i originally veered toward blog reading for the personal, uninfluenced opinions of the authors. this is what made the blogosphere unique, intriguing and influential.

now with the inundation of “buy!” and “shop!” buttons on every blog under the sun, i’m not so sure about this realm of media anymore. it’s quite evident that bloggers are being compensated – in some way or another – for their promotions, and as a result, they’re becoming less credible. it’s sad to say that some of my once favorite blogs now almost exclusively consist of sponsored posts.

but at the same time, these are writers, business owners and entrepreneurs. they have to make money somehow – and that is a notion i wholeheartedly understand and support.

what do you think? is the rising trend of “organic” ecommerce a pro or a con? my verdict is still tbd.

photo from the business of fashion.

from where i sit: fast fashion

14 Nov

you’ve seen it. a myriad of respectable, well-known designers staking their claim in the mass market world via low-priced retailers. mr. lagerfeld kicked things off eight years ago, and soon an impressive lineup would follow. we had stella mccartney and comme des garçons for h&m (following in lagerfeld’s footsteps), christopher kane for topshop and a slew of notables for target.

sure, these for-the-masses collections seem exciting and fun with their “limited-edition” tags that compel even the most jaded fashion mavericks to urgently buy, but what does it really mean? what does it mean for the industry, for the reputation and prestige of “fashion,” and for society as a whole?

the notion of “fast fashion” is not totally unique. it’s one of many examples of the state of consumerism today. no longer do shoppers – for whatever product: clothing, furniture, appliances, cars – spend considerable amounts of time researching competing qualities of items. no longer do the masses study what goes into making a product and whether the process deems the outcome worthy of our dollars. no longer do we value quality. now the mark of a “good buy” is the lowest pricetag on the sales floor. we have become of society of disposables.

this is a scary concept that has many repercussions – at least as i see it. with the notion of “cheap” we’ve all become intoxicated with – meaning “low priced,” in modern day vernacular – how are we ever supposed to revamp this country’s manufacturing arm? bigger, faster, cheaper is not a goal accomplished here at home.

so while yes, it’s a nice thought that we can bring “designer” fashion to the masses, we have to take a step back and consider what that actually means. fashion was an exclusive industry for a reason. you have to work hard to be able to afford quality clothes. just like you have to work hard to buy a new oven, lease a new car, own a home, etc. but i fear our society has become too lazy for all that. because why would you make the extra effort when essentially the same labels (on the surface, anyway), are readily available at your corner convenience store?

on the flip side, one might argue that there’s no other choice – how are consumers supposed to buy quality items when the divide between price points is so steep? you have a $10 “designer” shirt on one end, and a $250 “designer” t-shirt on the other. doesn’t sound so democratic to me. sounds like another indication of the growing divide between the haves and the have-nots.

and that, i would say, is the real problem here.